Lumbered
by cell12
Summary: Everyone always expected Cartman and the Jew to end up together - it's fate or something - but there's more than one Cartman and more than one Jew.  Kyman and Elvike.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I just wrote this yaoi story.

A few points:

- I presonally believe that even though Cartman says 'Kahl and Kenneh' he thinks in his head 'Kyle and Kenny' and have reflected this in the story.

- I was going to publish this in multiple chapters but thought you all might appreciate the whole story in one big dump. Feel free to copy into a text document to read as you like - as long as my name stays with it.

**Lumbered**

by Cell12

Preview

Eric Cartman groaned as he awoke - his head hurt just enough to remind him that he had been drinking the night before. He felt the warm body snuggled up to him move slightly and settle down. Kyle! He winced as he tried to remember the events of the night before.

---

Chapter 1

Eric's POV

My mom was going to be away all weekend so I had readily agreed to having Stan, Kenny and Kyle at my house for a sleep-over. Even their lame-ass company was better than being alone. Things had been as they usually were when you have a group of 15 year old friends, alone, without adult supervision. Video games, pizza, more video games and a horror film Stan had brought. Then, Kenny had gotten into the basement fridge and returned with a bottle of whiskey and 2 six-packs of beer. Stupid poor boy, all he seems to think about is girls, booze and big boobs - and don't try to say it's his hormones, he was exactly the same when he was 9!

It wasn't long before the movie was being ignored in favour of boastful talk and drinking challenges. Kyle would never drink as much as the rest of us, just enough to get 'mildly buzzed' as he calls it - and no amount of calling him a pussy or a chicken-shit will get him to change his mind. That was fine, it wasn't like I couldn't handle the booze. I easily matched Kenny shot for shot and soon he was bouncing around the room describing his latest conquest, a senior with amazing boobs - told you he was obsessed.

Soon I was feeling tired, "Screw you guys ahm going to bed," I stopped half way up the stairs and turned, "you know how to fold out the sofa don't you?"

Stan and Kyle were already taking off the cushions and moving the coffee table. "Don't worry Cartman we've got it covered," Stan replied. Kenny just waved merrily as he drained the dregs out of the last can.

"If you need any more blankets they're in the usual place," I looked pointedly from Stan and Kyle to where Kenny stood while I said this.

Stan, clueless as ever said, "We'll be OK with our sleeping bags," before stopping, seeing where my eyes were looking and saying, "Oh, right."

Kyle smiled at me and said, "I'll take care of things Eric."

I just nodded and continued up the stairs. Why had Kyle called me Eric? He hardly ever did that. Maybe he was being nice because I was considerate towards Kenny? Yeh, that must be it. Stupid Jew, as if I need his approval - I do what I want.

I soon stripped down to my boxers glancing in the mirror on my wardrobe as I passed it - I hadn't turned out too bad for the fat kid, not that I was obsessed or anything. Growth spurts, currently 6"2 and rising, had sucked off most of the fat and football had added muscle. I still had some bulk, though personally I preferred to describe myself as powerful-looking. These days only my friends could get away with calling me fatass.

Just as I had settled into a comfortable spot and started to drift to sleep I was jolted alert by my bedroom door opening.

It was Kyle, the light framed him from behind and I could see how skinny he was, as he stood there in his shorts, "Sorry Eric," he said.

I levered myself up to look at him, "Huh?"

Kyle continued, "Stan wanted to watch the rest of the vampire film. Can I sleep here with you?"

I looked at Kyle, he was blushing slightly, "You let Kenny have your sleeping bag didn't you?" Kyle looked down at the ground. I pulled the bed-covers back, "Get in Kahl," I said, sliding across to make room. Murmuring just loud enough for him to hear I said, "Stupid Jew you're too kind for your own good."

Kyle dropped the bundle of clothes ha was carrying and climbed into bed - giggling slightly he asked, "Are you drunk?"

"Maybe just a little," I replied.

"What would you do if I did this?" He asked as he leaned towards me and blew in my ear. I could feel his chest pressing against me making skin to skin contact.

"It feels weird," I wasn't sure whether I meant the ear thing or the skin contact.

He now had his arm draped around me, "Good weird or bad weird?"

"Just weird, weird," I turned to face him, "are you coming on to me Kahl?"

"And if I am," his right hand was snaking down my chest and stomach towards my boxers.

---

Chapter 2

Eric's POV

I can't believe what happened last night. I wasn't so drunk that I could call it a drunken mistake. I remember ever second of it - from Kyle's lame-ass flirting to the kissing, the groping and touching and finally the sex - I remember the sex. Do I regret anything? Hell no! Having sex with a guy doesn't mean your gay, it just means you were horny - all teenage boys are horny, right?

I tried to slide gently out of the bed, not wanting to wake Kyle and have to deal with awkward, morning after, conversations. Knowing Kyle, I figured he would never want to speak about this. Unfortunately my movements woke him up.

"Morning Eric," he sounded calm, he must be OK with what happened last night.

"Hey Kahl," I tried to keep my voice normal, "how's the hangover?"

Kyle lifted his head up from my shoulder and fixed me in place with his green eyes, "I don't have one," he smiled, "guess I must have burnt off the alcohol." He sniggered, "How about you?"

I winced and placed my free hand to my forehead - my other arm was pinned under Kyle, "Not so bad, I'll be fine once I've had breakfast."

Kyle stretched up and kissed me gently on the lips, I was too stunned to do anything. "Last night was the best Eric."

Oh crap he wanted to talk about it, "I'm sure you've had better Kahl."

"No, that was my first time," he pulled himself on top of me - his legs straddling my stomach, "I was saving myself for someone special."

"I'm not that spec..."

Kyle cut me off by dropping down onto me and kissing me. Not a delicate peck but a massive french kiss, his tongue was in my mouth and his hands were in my hair. The kiss seemed to last forever but was probably less than half a minute. When he broke off he kept his hands on my head, holding it in place, he locked eyes with me, "I can't believe we're together, I've liked you for ages."

Shit! Kyle liked me and - after last night - he thought we were boyfriends or something, "Kahl I..."

Again he interrupted, this time by jumping off me and out of bed. He grabbed my arm and pulled to get me to follow him. He was half-hard and I guess I was too - bad little Eric, bad. "Come on, we need to shower," he started leading me towards the door.

---

I'd showered with guys before, after gym class, but that was just about getting in and out as quick as possible and hoping you didn't humiliate yourself by popping a boner. Showering with a love-sick Kyle after a night of sex was a completely different experience.

For a start there was all the touching and stroking, his hands were everywhere but always seemed to gravitate down to my dick. I guess he felt like he was entitled to play with, not so, little Eric after giving me his cherry.

Then there was the kissing, he pressed against me kissing my chest - before snaking an arm around my neck lowering my head so he could kiss my mouth. The physical contact between us was electrifying - the sane part of my mind was screaming no, stop now before you get in way to deep - the rest of my mind was shouting hell yes, it's not like I had any female attention in my life.

The last girl I had hooked up with had used way too much teeth when trying to give me a blow-job. After telling her to stop, twice, I had pushed her off me rather violently and called her a useless whore. The bitch must have spread some shit about me around the school, because since then no girl would go anywhere near me. In comparison Kyle gave great blow-jobs - as I found out last night. I felt his slide down to his knees, I guess I was about to get another.

---

Chapter 3

Eric's POV

I rushed into the bedroom and started grabbing fresh clothes, Kyle followed me in, "What's the rush for?" He asked while grabbing his own clothes.

"I guess ahm hungry," I replied while tugging my shirt over my head.

"Sex does burn up calories," he grinned at me.

"So cute," I thought. Shit I'd said that out loud, maybe he didn't hear.

Kyle blushed slightly - he'd heard me, "So what's for breakfast?"

"I'll cook something special," I answered and bolted out of the door.

Why did I think Kyle was cute? Had he drugged me or used some Jew mind trick? I was grateful to get away from the highly sexed atmosphere and go downstairs. Stan and Kenny were just starting to move about in their sleeping bags.

Stan sat up - yawning and stretching his arms, "Morning Cartman."

Kenny was also awake and starting to move about. I wanted to get away before he got a chance to have a good look at me. I swear the poor boy can sense sex afterglow like a bloodhound.

I had to think of something to say, "The shower's free if you want it," lame, lame, lame, "I'll be in the kitchen making breakfast," even more lame.

I dived into the kitchen and took a few deep breaths. OK, so I had a sex-crazed Kyle on my hands - I could deal with that as long as my reputation remained intact. All I had to do was get Kyle alone, calm him down and ask him to keep things on the down-low. Hell, it might be fun to screw around with Kyle for a while - sex on tap, who's gonna say no to that? Now on to breakfast, shit, I'd promised Kyle something special. I opened up the fridge and looked in.

Being the modest person I am, I tend not to boast about my supreme culinary skills. I'm a fat kid who's mom leaves me home-alone a lot - of course I can cook. A quick glance at the contents and my eyes fell to the two bars of diabetic chocolate pushed at the back - my mom's idea to wean me off unhealthy foods - I could use those and the cream to make a chocolate sauce, throw in some fresh berry's and you have a perfect topping for pancakes. Obviously I make my pancake batter from scratch - none of that pre-made in a bottle crap.

The art of cooking actually helps me relax, not that I would chose it as a career - churning the same things out over and over, day after day - seems hellish to me, but I do like to create. I guess I'm an artist at heart. I tend to get into a rhythm and go into automatic mode when I cook - almost like meditating. I once spent the whole day baking while writing a piece of music in my head. Only Kenny has ever seen me in my cooking trance - he joked that only a lard-ass, like me, could be so Zen about filling my stomach. I told him to shut-the-fuck-up or he would never get another free meal at my house ever again.

When I finally snapped myself back to earth, I had two stacks of pancakes the chocolate sauce and maple syrup, for non-diabetics, all laid out on the table with plates and cutlery. Where were they? Shit, maybe Kyle was telling them about last night.

When I opened the kitchen door I could see Kyle sat on the sofa with Stan, Kenny was scrunched up in the armchair - one leg dangling over the side. They were talking and I could only dread to think what about.

As I watched, I saw Stan hug Kyle and say, "I'm so happy for you dude."

Kenny stretched himself - like a cat - and said, "Told ya it would be fine." It was Kenny who noticed me in the doorway, he winked at me and I blushed. They knew, god-damn-it, they knew.

I took a deep breath and tried to sound normal, "Breakfast is on the table guys," before diving back into the kitchen and claiming my usual seat.

They soon followed me into the kitchen, Kenny and Stan giggling like brain-dead cheerleaders and Kyle blushing cutely. No, wait, I didn't mean cutely I meant like a dork or something.

"Wow pancakes!" Stan exclaimed, "You made these?"

"From scratch, the mix shit's full of additives and crap." I just wanted to get through breakfast. Maybe Stan and Kenny wouldn't tell anyone, Kyle would have to face just as much crap - if not more - if anything got out. My tension eased a couple of notches. It wouldn't take much to persuade them to keep quiet for Kyle's sake.

Kyle was sat opposite me, "The chocolate sauce is for me, right?" When he spoke he looked at me with his big green eyes, I would swear he could see all the way to the back of my skull.

I had to shake my head before I could answer, "I made it myself with diabetic chocolate, but there's enough there for everyone who wants to to have a taste."

He smiled at me like I'd done something so special, "Thanks Eric," his words sent shivers down my spine. Shit, I must really be stressing over this.

---

Chapter 4

Eric's POV

I must have eaten something but for the life of me I don't remember it. All I do remember about the torturous meal was Kenny making a series of crude innuendos and then nearly choking with laughter at his own jokes. We returned to the living room and I prepared myself to find out how much they knew and what, exactly, was going on.

The silence was awkward and there was no way in hell I was gonna break it. I sat myself on the right side of the sofa - my spot - closest to the TV and most comfortable. Stan sat at the other end of the sofa and Kenny lounged in the chair - I swear to you, I have never seen the poor boy sit in that chair normally. Kyle hovered though, like he couldn't decide whether to sit in the middle of the sofa or somewhere else. His decision was made for him - however - when he tripped on my leg, partly spun round and landed on my lap. I instinctively clutched at him.

Kenny let out a loud chuckle, "Smooth move, Fatass," both Kyle and I blushed.

"Don't embarrass them Kenny," Stan came to our defence, "it's only natural that they'd want to be close now that they're finally together."

"Finally?" I managed to get out. Kyle had made himself comfortable on my lap and was wrapping his arms around my neck. His head was snuggled into my shoulder and he started running his fingers through my hair, the gentle caresses actually felt nice and made me relax. I could feel myself pulling Kyle closer to me, almost like I was hugging him. I gave an embarrassed, "Eep," and lifted my hands away - only then realising one of them had been firmly gripping Kyle's ass.

Stan smothered a grin, "Yeh we know Cartman, you've been in love with Kyle for years."

"Years?" I must have been transported into a parallel universe, because I can't believe what I've just heard.

After hearing that shocking revelation it was hard to focus on what Kenny was saying, "We kind-of figured that you might be gay, after what Patty said - about you not wanting her to give you a blow-job - and pretty much throwing her out of your house. But we didn't know you were into Kyle. You kept us in the dark for a long time," Kenny was sitting forward now, "It wasn't until Butters let slip about San Francisco that we were able to put things together." Butters opened his mouth - he swore he would never tell a soul - I should rip his nuts off and make him eat them.

Stan took over the explanation, "We finally realised - you've saved Kyle's life a whole bunch of times and always tried to keep it secret. At first we thought it was because you hated him but then we realised, if you really hated Kyle you would have rubbed his nose in your saving him - tormented him with the knowledge that he owed his life to you."

Kyle looked up at me - "You've been keeping secrets for a long time Eric - it's time to let go."

I could feel my heart pounding so hard, like it wanted to burst out of my chest. I wanted to shove Kyle away from me and bolt for the door - but I couldn't move, it felt like all the energy in my body was being used up by my brain and there was nothing left for my arms and legs.

"What about Kahl?" I felt like I needed to know everything - give myself a chance to think, "How long has Kahl liked me?"

Stan and Kenny looked at Kyle, it was his story to tell and I guess that they wanted to hear it from him too.

"I guess I'd been having gay thoughts for a while but it wasn't until about a year ago that I finally excepted it and put into words. I am gay. It's hard to imagine how painful it is saying those three little words, even in your own mind." Kyle smiled up at me and took my hand, "Once I fully excepted it myself I was ready to tell the people I trusted most - my family and my best friends. It turned out that they already suspected - Ike said he'd always known but he could have just been saying that to bug me - mom was in tears, she said life would be that much harder for me - dad told her, we've brought Kyle up to be strong, he said I was a son to be proud of."

His parents were OK with him being gay! My plan to keep things secret was being blow out the water.

Kyle paused and looked away from me - I needed to say something to get him to continue. I spoke quietly, "You told Stan and Kenneh but not me," I squeezed his hand slightly, "it's OK, I don't mind."

Kyle turned back to me, "I told Stan the same day - after I reassured him I wasn't into him - he was fine with it."

"And Kenneh?" I don't know why I wanted to know so badly - it was like a dreadful fascination.

"He kind of guessed a few weeks later and asked me."

Kenny chipped in, "I asked if he'd come-out yet?"

"And you didn't tell me because I was the fatass jerk who would have ripped on you and made sure everyone in school knew you were gay."

"That's what I thought then - before I knew you'd been protecting me and looking after me for years," Kyle had tears in his eyes. I had made him cry - but it didn't feel like any kind of victory.

"When Butters let slip about San Francisco it stunned me - it was hard to believe that Eric Cartman, my enemy, would care about me so much as to risk his own life to save me. So I did some checking - it's on record that you've saved my live more than a dozen times."

"Sixteen times," I muttered.

"It made me start thinking about all the fights we'd had," Kyle kissed my hand - gently, "I was just as much to blame as you - the names I called you were just as hurtful and everyone used them against you, not just me. I'm Sorry Eric."

I was feeling uncomfortable - hearing Kyle pour out his feelings like this was making me feel guilty - but I had to know the rest, "So when did you start having feelings for me?"

Kyle took a deep breath - obviously this was hard for him, "After I found out that you'd been protecting me, had saved me all those times, I couldn't think of anything else. I started having dreams," Kyle was blushing - his whole face red, "I was the damsel in distress and you were the hero who saved me."

I knew I had to say something, "I'm no prince charming - Kahl," not the best line in the world but it kept the conversation going and gave me more time to think.

"I know, I guess the dreams made me take a second look at you - I noticed that you would come into school early sometimes and you were always sneaking off during lunch."

"You spied on me?"

"I followed you to the music rooms during lunchtimes, you play the piano really well. I asked the music teacher about you - I had to act like I already knew - he said you were a good musician but your real skill lay in composition."

Stan chipped in, "Hey, I remember back in third grade - you wrote that Helen Keller musical thing we had to do."

I snorted at that, "That was pretty lame - I've got a little better since then."

"But you've never boasted to anyone about it - you boast about shit all the time," Kenny asked, "Why?"

It was my turn to blush, "All the stuff I boast about - football and shit - I don't give a crap about. So if anyone tells me I'm rubbish at football - I guess it doesn't matter," I left off the rest of the explanation.

Kyle finished it for me, "But your music matters to you."

I tried to speak but Kyle shushed me by placing his finger on my lips, "I realised that you were someone who deserved to be loved."

---

Chapter 5

Eric's POV

Kyle loves me! I knew he liked me, but love, love is like times a million. I've never felt loved, really loved, my whole life. I know my mom says she loves me but she's never been there for me - as a real parent would be. Most people only ever see her in 'super mommy' mode - where she's all polite and serving out food and crap. They don't know about the nights when I was left home alone as a young child so she could be out with men or scoring drugs. They don't know about all the nights when she's brought strangers into our home for sex. They don't know about all the times she's brought teachers, or even worse the parents of kids I know, home. Then there are the times she has overdosed on whatever crap she's sticking in her veins. The times when I have had to nurse her though the night and, of course, the nights she hasn't come home at all.

I realised no one was saying anything and everyone was looking at me - so I said the first thing that came into my head, "You love me," I didn't ask it as a question - I said it as a statement of fact.

Kyle looked deep into my eyes - his face was flushed with embarrassment but he ha a steely and determined gleam in his eyes, "Yes, I love you Eric."

It was hard for me to think, luckily I didn't have to.

Stan and Kenny both seemed to lean back in their seats in shock - Stan was the one who spoke, "Dude, you told him. You weren't supposed to say that yet in case you frighten him off."

Wait, what, it sounded like there had been some sort of plan and all three of them were in on it. Was Kyle just bull-shitting me?

"Shut up Stan," Kyle gave Stan an angry glare.

I was angry now I pushed Kyle off my lap - into the middle of the sofa - and stood up, "You're just messing with me! You don't give a shit about me! This is all some sick game you guys are playing," I barely noticed the tears running down Kyle's face, "Ha ha - make the fatass feel wanted, loved, for the first time in his pathetic life and then knock it all down. Don't worry, it's only Cartman - he doesn't have any feelings." Why did I care so much?

Kyle looked distraught, "It's not like that,"

"How is it then, Kyle, because I really want to know."

Kyle looked slightly guilty, "I really do like you but I wasn't one-hundred percent sure about how you feel because you're so good at covering things up. Kenny told me to seduce you and Stan came up with the idea of doing it at a sleep-over so that they could back me up if anything went wrong."

"So just the three of you were in on this, eh?" Maybe I could get out of this with a few hurt feelings but my rep. in tact.

"No," Kyle looked downwards, "Butters knows because he helped with finding out about all the times you'd saved me - it would have been mean to leave him out." He paused but I knew there was more, "The girls at school know."

I could barely stop myself from shouting, "How, why!"

"They know you're gay anyway, that's why they won't date you," Kenny said.

"Who told them I was gay?"

Kenny laughed, "It's kind of obvious when you turn down a blow-job from a hot chick."

Shit, there was no chance of me dating any girl in high school if they all thought I was gay. My life was already shot to pieces - I may as well hear the rest of it, "Does anyone else know?"

"Your mom, we needed her out of the house to arrange the sleep-over and," Kyle stopped. I looked at him and urged him to continue, "My parents know I like you - but they weren't in on the plan."

I was stunned - Kyle's mom hates me, "Your parents are OK with you wanting to date me?"

"Not at first, not until I told them about San Francisco and all the other times you've saved me. They said they were willing to give you a chance - if you were what I really wanted."

"A chance," I don't know why that line pissed me off so much - but it did.

Kyle reached his hand out towards me but I shoved it away, "Cartman, please."

"Don't call me that."

"It's your name," Kenny chipped in.

"You mentioned all the names we call each other Kahl but you forgot about Cartman - that is the worst of them all," Kyle, Stan and Kenny all looked at me - I didn't know why I was telling them this - perhaps it was a day to reveal all my dark secrets.

---

Chapter 6

Eric's POV

"Your mother was to blame for all the years of hate between us Kahl," I said that simple statement quite calmly and let it sink in.

"How?" Kyle asked looking puzzled.

I looked away, staring at a wall was easier than looking at my friends right now, "For the first few weeks of pre-school everyone called me Eric."

Stan answered, "So."

"I remember it quite clearly - Kahl's mom came to pick him up on the Friday afternoon and she saw him playing with me. I could hear her scolding Kahl as she dressed him in his coat and gloves. 'I don't want you playing with that Cartman boy - That Cartman boy's no good - He doesn't have a father - His mother makes her money from immoral acts - That Cartman boy's a bad seed'."

"When we came back after the weekend Kahl started calling me Cartman and he got everyone else to call me that as well. It made me feel like I didn't deserve a first name. Like I was nothing, worthless. I didn't understand why my friend would want to hurt me so much. When I complained to the teacher she just said it was my surname and there was nothing wrong with me being called that."

"After a few days of been called Cartman I was crying in the bathroom when Butters found me - he asked me what was wrong and when I told him, he promised to always call me Eric, no matter what."

"Kyle still hung out with you in pre-school," Stan tried to defend his friend.

"Yes but his opinion of me had changed - he pre-judged me as a bad person and made sure everyone else did the same. I created the I'm-an-asshole-and-I-don't-care attitude to cover up how much I was hurting and I guess it became part of me."

"All the mean things I did to you, Kahl, were to try and hurt you as much as you hurt me back in pre-school. Even then I couldn't bring myself to let you die."

"So you protected me and saved my life more than once," Kyle stood and closed the gap between us, "why - if you hated me so much?"

"I enjoyed fighting with you," my voice lowered to almost a whisper, "I couldn't bare the thought of you not been around to fight with."

Kyle placed his hand on my arm, "You're not real good at dealing with emotions, like caring and love, are you Eric?"

Maybe I did have feelings for Kyle, I just hadn't wanted to acknowledge them. I felt like I wanted to cry - but I don't cry from emotions, I'm Eric Theodore Cartman - I'm the biggest bad-ass in South Park. I don't care if people like me but I do demand respect.

---

Chapter 7

Eric's POV

"Things are getting pretty intense around here, I think me and Kenny should go - give you guys some space," that's just like Stan - surprisingly for a hippie do-gooder he hates talking about feelings almost as much as I do.

I just stood - planted to the spot as Stan and Kenny grabbed their coats and headed for the door. Kyle followed them and I heard Stan say something too low for me to make out. Kyle just smiled and said, "Don't worry - we'll be fine," as he closed the door.

I collapsed back onto the sofa, I had to think of something - anything to give me some breathing space. I didn't want to hurt Kyle, wait, why was I so bothered about whether I hurt Kyle or not? I should be thinking about me.

I hadn't even realised that Kyle had sat down next to me until I felt his hand on my shoulder, "Eric - are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I replied automatically - inside I was anything but fine.

"Tell me what you're thinking please Eric," Kyle sounded confused.

"I like you - but I don't know if I could cope with being in a relationship in public, especially a gay relationship."

Kyle looked bleak, "Eric I..."

"The thought of everyone in town watching every move we make, talking about us, commenting on us, judging us - that makes me feel so embarrassed, ashamed even. Is it so hard to believe that, when it comes to personal things, I'm quite shy."

"People don't have to know," even as he said it I don't think Kyle believed it himself.

I shook my head, "Too many people already know enough to work things out. For it to remain secret we would have to concoct so many lies that they would be blurring into each other. And I'm sorry Kahl but I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the whole gay thing. It's kewl that you're OK with who you are - but I'm not. I don't know if I'm ready to be labelled gay, god-damn-it, I've only ever dated girls."

Kyle turned me to look at him, "How did you feel about those girls?"

"I wanted to hold them and possess them, they were pretty and I knew they'd make me look good."

"That doesn't sound like love."

"I never said I loved them."

"How do you feel about me?" I could see Kyle holding his breath and waiting for the answer he hoped for.

"Most of the time, you annoy the hell out of me - but when you're not there I feel empty, like there's nothing worth bothering about." I paused gathering my thoughts, "I don't like guys, seriously, I don't. I've seen guys naked in the locker room and in porn movies, they don't do shit for me - but I find myself, instinctively, wanting to hold you and kiss you and it scares me that I could feel something like that."

"Sometimes you should go with your instincts," Kyle leaned in towards me and kissed me. It felt so good - I couldn't help but kiss him back.

After about a minute I broke off the kiss, "I think I could live with been labelled bisexual Kahl."

Kyle smiled at me and replied, "We'll go with that then," he pulled me on top of him and initiated another kiss.

---

Chapter 8

Six Weeks Later

Eric's POV

I rushed out of my last class of the day so I could meet Kyle at our lockers before I had to head to football practice.

Kyle, Stan and Kenny had made a herculean effort, phoning around and calling in favours, anything to give me and Kyle a bit of breathing space - just to try and make me feel more comfortable. I remember Kyle telling me that it would be different because I wouldn't be facing the barrage of questions and banter alone, I would have him with me.

I could deal with the hate, the homophobia, I had spent years returning insult for insult with people. What I found horrendous were the sly smiles and the aww how cutes - mainly from girls - why couldn't people mind their own business and leave us the hell alone. But Kyle was right, having him there helped - most of the time, anyways.

---

We were sitting at our lunch table on the first Friday since me and Kyle got together. It had been a few days and a lot of the interest in us had died down. Except for Kyle sitting next to me and occasionally placing his hand on my knee, things were pretty normal.

It was Stan who decided to bring up the topic of the football game being played that night. Stan, who lives and breathes the sport, was third string quarter-back and back-up in a couple of other positions as well. Whereas I, who couldn't care less, was starting running-back. What can I say, when I put my head down and charge anything in the way tends to bounce off.

"You'll be going there to support your boyfriend - won't you Kyle," Kenny had asked.

I had visibly flinched at being called Kyle's boyfriend and everyone had noticed.

Kenny had taken this as an invitation to torture me, "Would you prefer if I'd said significant other or life partner, Eric?"

"What about special friend - I like special friend," chipped in Butters in his cheerful voice. Not really understanding that Kenny was teasing me.

"You shouldn't flinch when people refer to you and Kyle as a couple Eric," Stan had said, "it could hurt Kyle's feelings."

"I know - I really do," the guys had made a big effort to call me Eric rather the Cartman since my outburst, "do you think I want to hurt Kahl?" I lowered my voice, "I can't help the way I feel."

"Eric," only Kyle had the ability to grab my attention so completely with his voice, "What do you want to do most in the world right now - this second?"

I'd answered truthfully, "Run away and hide."

Kyle's eyes had a mesmerising effect on me, "But you're still here."

"I can't leave you."

Kyle jumped up and climbed onto my lap. My face turned completely red as I frantically looked around the room hoping nobody had seen what he was doing. My heart was beating like a jack-hammer. He lowered his head to my ear and whispered, "The more you try to push me away, the more tightly I'll cling to you."

---

Strangely, the more I let down my guard around Kyle - the safer and more secure I felt. I still wasn't comfortable with saying out loud, I'm gay and I'm in love with Kyle Broflovski my boyfriend but I was getting there.

Kyle was waiting at the lockers when I got there, "Hey Kahl."

Kyle smiled, "Hey Eric," he said before pressing into me and giving me a hug.

I hugged him back. I had gotten used to the public displays of affection and although they still made me feel uneasy it wasn't so bad - most of the time.

"You're still coming to my house for dinner Eric," Kyle asked me for the twelfth time today.

I sighed, "Yes, I haven't been able to come us with a good excuse to get out of it." I was only partly teasing - I had been avoiding Kyle's parents ever since we started dating. In the end Kyle had resorted to emotional blackmail to get me to cave in.

I fumbled open my locker, shoved my book-bag inside and grabbed my gym bag. I turned as I slammed the locker closed and leaned down to kiss Kyle on the cheek, "I've got to go Kahl - coach makes us run laps if we're late."

Kyle hugged me again, "It won't be as bad as you imagine Eric," he said as I turned to leave.

---

Chapter 9

Eric's POV

To say I was dreading this evening would be a massive understatement. Kyle had spent quite some time acting as go-between, negotiating the terms of my visit.

They had opened with an insistence that I behaved respectfully and refrained from any anti-semitic remarks. I had countered with a demand for privacy over the more personal details of our relationship, no asking of what my intentions were towards Kyle and no quizzing me about my future prospects.

After I had strung things out for a couple of weeks, Kyle had finally realised that I was stalling and introduced his secret weapon into the negotiations. He knew I couldn't argue with him when he made himself look all helpless and vulnerable - with big doe eyes and a pouting lower lip - I wondered how long it would take for me to build up some sort of resistance to that. I had finally agreed to have dinner with Kyle's family on Wednesday. With it being a football practice day, I could use that as an excuse for getting out of there if I needed to - I could claim to be tired after a hard practice.

Being one of the younger members of the team, the older guys tended to look out for me. They were kewl about me and Kyle - one of them admitted to me that he was gay and he complemented me on my taste - I just found the whole thing incredibly embarrassing. There were a few jokes but nothing malicious.

Dalton, one of the older guys on the team always gave me and Stan a lift after practice. Stan usually wanted to talk through the plays or drone on about his latest date with Wendy but today he was keen to talk about a different subject.

"Are you looking forward to tonight Eric?"

"What's tonight?" Dalton asked curiously.

"Eric's going round to his boyfriend's house for dinner," Stan replied.

Dalton thought for a second, "Romantic?"

I was silently telling Stan to shut up but sadly he didn't get the message and continued, "No - first time meeting the parents."

"Shit," Dalton turned to look at me on the back seat for a second, "your boyfriend's mom is that bitch on the PTA - yes."

Stan answered for me, "That's her."

Dalton shook his head, "Shit!"

---

I had asked Kyle how I should dress for tonight and was told smart but not formal, so I opted for a nice red and grey panel shirt with stone cargo's. I threw my usual red jacket on over the top. Before I left I remembered to grab the cookies that I had baked last night.

The walk to Kyle's house wasn't that far - we'd been in and out of each others homes countless times over the years - but I had never dragged it out this much before. I shook myself, why was I so nervous, they were the ones who should be worried. If they didn't like me what could they do? Try to split us up? As if, they would have to move to the other end of the... My thought trailed off, moving to another state or even another country was the sort of extreme reaction that was characteristic of Shelia Broflovski.

I had got to their front door but my mind was in too much turmoil to knock, I think I was having a panic attack. Through the door I think heard Kyle say something about checking on something but I was too gone to really make out what. Just then the door swung open - it was Kyle. He looked so good standing there in a green shirt over some jeans.

"Eric," Kyle placed his hand on my shoulder - concern etched on his face, "you're freezing - how long have you been standing out there?"

I didn't answer, instead I just let him pull me inside. His parents were standing there, waiting to greet me. I trudged forward and handed over the cookies in the Tupperware box, "These are for your family," I mumbled, "I baked them myself - the green-iced ones are sugar free."

I felt Kyle reaching for my jacket, pulling it down by the shoulders. I hadn't even realised that I had unzipped it - I'm never usually this nervous. Most of the time I can bull-shit my way out of difficult situations.

"Eric, Kyle told me about what happened at pre-school. I never realised how badly what I said to him affected you," she looked genuinely guilty, "I was wrong to pre-judge you because of my opinions of your mother. I want you to know that I'm sorry."

For years I had wanted to hurt her - like she had hurt me but now I could see that she cared about her family so much. Yes she went over the top, yes she was a bitch but you have to be a bitch in this world to fight for the ones you love. Fight to give them an even break and a fair chance in life. If you don't fight you get walked over. I guess that my 'Cartman' attitude was my way of fighting back against the world. Kyle's big beautiful eyes were on me - pleading with me to build bridges with his mom, "Thank you Mrs Broflovski - I understand how hard that was for you."

I could see Kyle visibly sighing with relief - I smiled over at him, "Kahl you're looking nice, is that a new shirt?" My sudden change in subject had lifted the tension off the whole room, Kyle's dad smiled and Kyle blushed.

After a few awkward pleasantry's Kyle broke things up, "Mom how long till dinner?"

"About half-an-hour - why," she paused, "why don't you two get out of the way. I'll call you when it's time."

"Thanks mom," Kyle grabbed me by the arm and lead me upstairs to his bedroom. He pulled me inside and pushed the door closed, "You're acting weird."

"Ah guess I'm stressed. I wanted to make a good impression and I wanted your family to see I'm not just the ass-hole they see on the surface."

Kyle pulled me towards him for a kiss, "Try to relax - be the person I've seen for the last few weeks."

As I held Kyle in my arms all the tension and worry melted away, "How do you do that?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"Make everything seem better just by holding me."

Kyle lifted his head to look up at me, "Unconditional love."

"You know me Kahl," I wanted to say so much - but didn't know how, "I'm gonna make mistakes. I've never been like this before."

"Nobody is perfect Eric, we all have our doubts and insecurity's. Just say, honestly, what you feel - I want you to be open with me."

"I," the pause was not deliberate - I knew what I wanted to say. Why is it so hard for me to admit any sort of feelings? "Love you Kahl."

Kyle jumped at me and I half-fell backwards onto his bed. His mouth was on mine and I felt his hands gripping me like he never wanted to let go. I knew the world was still busy working all around us - but right now I feel like me and Kyle are the only two beings in the universe.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I just wrote this yaoi story.

Chapter 10

Two years later

Eric moaned in pleasure as he felt his cock being worked - what a great way to wake up. He loved Kyle so much, it was hard to believe now but after that first drunken one-night-stand he had nearly ruined things out of his own insecurities and sense of pride. The truth was he had never had to face real emotions before and had struggled to understand them. His family life was anything but normal and he had never realised how much he had missed out on until he started dating Kyle. Kyle was special, beautiful and wonderful. Eric knew that if he ever lost Kyle he would fall to pieces but he wasn't worried - he knew he would never lose Kyle. If anything Kyle was more in love with Eric that Eric was with him. they seemed to have one of those perfect relationships where everything goes right and no obstacles got in the way.

Surprisingly the biggest obstacle remover was Kyle's mom. Shelia Broflovski would charge into battle at any scent of homophobia or discrimination. It was terrifying, Eric had never had that level of parental support or interest before and it took some getting used to. As soon as she realised that the relationship between Eric and Kyle might go the distance she had sucked Eric into her orbit. Protective, nagging and pushing him to do his best - at first he had resented it, not being used to having a parental spotlight on him - Kyle had calmed him and helped him adapt. In a way Shelia now felt like she had three sons to push to greatness rather than two.

It was such a contrast to his own mother. Don't misunderstand, Eric loved his mom but she had never acted like a mom to him. Liane Cartman had always treated him more as a friend than as a son - it was actually pretty kewl now. He had always had a level of freedom envied by all the other kids in town - but few saw the other side and the emotional neglect. Liane had taken the news of Eric and Kyle's relationship as casually as if discussing a switch in brands of soap. She had said all the right things about wanting her son to be happy but had never taken the time to be involved.

A relationship isn't just about the two people in the relationship - despite what they might think. It is far more than that. Relationships create new links between friends and families - some things change beyond all recognition. Stan and Kenny hung out together much more now. Usually the only time they hung out with Eric and Kyle was as a group. Stan also spent more time with Wendy, his girlfriend, and because of this Wendy was one of the biggest supporters of Kyle and Eric in high school. She was the one who was pushing for a change in school policy on senior prom king and queen - demanding instead that everyone be allowed to vote for the most popular couple. Her intention was to make Kyle and Eric Park County High's first pair of prom kings (or queens she hadn't decided which yet). Being a senior only meant that Kenny was nosing around the younger high school girls now rather than the older. Although he professed to have little interest in college, he was considering it - if only so he could fish in a new gene-pool of girls.

Of all their friends though Butters was the one who had changed the most. Emboldened by the acceptance of Eric and Kyle's public relationship, he had come out to his friends and family. Only his dad had caused him any problems and he had, somehow, found the courage to stand up to him. Butters had cut loose after one of his father's snide comments during a PTA fund raiser He had loudly chided his father, "Just because you were too much of a coward to admit to being gay when you were my age doesn't mean I should hide in the closet like you did." He then continued, "It's not my fault that you got mom pregnant before you were willing to face your true feelings. And I'm sick of you treating me like I'm no good because you blame me for trapping you into a loveless sham of a marriage" Butters had lowered his voice for the last part, "No-one ever forced you to marry mom, you could have chosen to stay friends, supported your child financially and found love in a gay relationship. Mom would have been happier with another man - someone who loved her and wanted to be with her. You chose to screw-up your own life and you took mom down with you - but by-heck I'm not letting you screw-up mine as well." After that the balance in the Stotch house-hold changed - Butters was standing up to his father, no longer putting up with his erratic behaviour, and his mom was siding with Butters when her husband was in the wrong.

Eric was brought out of his day-dream by a sudden realisation - Kyle was snuggled up next to him and clearly fast asleep. He yanked the covers back and looked down. Ike! Eric pulled his legs up and used them to push Ike off him - at the same time shouting, "Ike - what the hell!"

Kyle was awakened by the noise and sudden movement. He was confronted by an irate boyfriend and a naked 12 year old brother trying to run out of the room.

Kyle wasn't stupid he had guessed that his little brother had a crush on Eric - he just hadn't gotten around to telling Eric about it. Kyle's first thoughts was to remind himself that just the other day he had thought his little brother's crush was cute. He also thought that he really didn't want to deal with this crap right now. Ike had retreated - back to his own room, no doubt - and Eric was clutching the covers to himself and appeared slightly hysterical.

"Kahl," Eric's voice had lost all of its usual confidence, "I swear to you that I didn't do anything - I just woke up and he was doing that." Tears were running down his face, "I was half-asleep and thought it was you, I would never do anything like that with Ike. Please don't leave me." There was more but Kyle couldn't make it out through the sobs.

Kyle threw his arms around his boyfriend, "It's OK," he stroked Eric's hair - comforting him like you would a distraught child, "I would never leave you and I know you are blameless in this. Ike must have jimmied the door lock and crawled into bed with us while we were both asleep. Nobody blames you."

Eric looked up at Kyle - his eyes were all red and swollen, "Why? Why would he do that to me?"

"He has a crush on you," Kyle could see the puzzled expression on Eric's face, "you never noticed?"

"I didn't even know he was gay."

Kyle broke off from holding Eric and climbed out of bed, "Look, he's probably feeling embarrassed and ashamed of himself right now. I don't think he will try to do anything like that again. I'll talk to him - tell him how inappropriate it was - tell his how uncomfortable he has made you feel."

Eric had started to get dressed, "I don't think I want to be around your house for a while. You make sure Ike realises that I only want one Broflovski," he smile at Kyle, "I love you Kahl. Call me after you've talked to him."

Eric pulled on his trainers and left Kyle's bedroom. As he watched him go, Kyle cursed his little brother for ruining his plans for a leisurely Sunday morning in bed with his boyfriend. For once Kyle was grateful that his parents were away, there was no telling how they would have handled this crap.

---

Eric barged into his house not in the best of moods. He needed a shower and some breakfast to make himself feel human again. His mind was still reeling from the events of the morning - so it was a surprise when he found his mother waiting to speak to him as he entered the house.

"Oh Eric - I was just about to call you," Liane Cartman looked flustered - she still held the telephone in one hand.

Eric dismissed what his mom was saying - too wrapped up in his own thoughts, "Mom I need to have a shower and get changed, can't it wait?"

"Sorry poopsykins, I've just got off the phone from Nebraska. Your aunt has been arrested for fraud. I have to go there to see to some matters."

Eric shook his head - trying to clear his thoughts, "Do you need me to come with you?" He asked.

She smiled at Eric and answered, "No, I should be fine," she winked at him, "and anyway you've got school and football and that cute boyfriend of yours who would miss you terribly."

Eric rolled his eyes, why did she always have to say it like that - like he was a toddler being congratulated on his first potty. Eric straightened up, "How long will you be gone?"

Liane thought, "I might have to stay for a while. It depends on whether your Aunt gets bail or not. If she gets bail I should only be gone a week or so."

"And if she doesn't get bail?"

"I don't know Eric - I guess that her bank accounts will be frozen and she will lose her apartment. I'll have to arrange for her things to be put in storage and deal with all the other matters."

Eric scratched his head - there was something important he was forgetting, "Is she guilty?"

His mother looked him square in the eyes and answered quite frankly, "Yes - yes she is."

Eric spent the next half-hour helping his mother. He carried her suitcase downstairs and out to her car and generally kept busy. It wasn't until after she had left that he finally remembered the thing that he had forgotten. Eric spent the rest of the morning with a huge grin on his face. He had just thought of the perfect plan to get Ike off his back.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I just wrote this yaoi story.

---

Chapter 11

Six Weeks Later

Elvin's POV

My life is so screwed - seriously! My stupid bitch of a mother had landed herself in jail and I'm been dragged out of my home and away from my friends - to live with my crack-whore Aunt and her queer-boy nephew in some dump in the middle of nowhere. Of course my Aunt Liane tells me that I should be grateful for having family that cares about me - but what do I give a shit! When my mom is finally sentenced she'll get at least five years - even I know she's guilty - and I honestly can't see her getting early parole for good behaviour.

So here I am sitting in my Aunt's car, freezing cold despite the heater being on full, on my way to South Park. I look across at my Aunt, despite her smiles and friendly fa ade, I can see that the years of drug use have burnt out parts of her brain. A lot of the arrangements for me to live with her were made on the fly, mostly over the phone with my cousin Eric. I got the impression that he was eager for me to come here and that disturbs me.

You would have to know Eric, to know why his having a special interest in you is something to be concerned about. I've spent the last few years of my life having Eric held up as a shining example of the perfect son. The big football star with college scouts crawling all over him. The musical genius with amazing song writing skills. It makes me sick sometimes, having his achievements thrown in my face - like I'm being compared against him and always found wanting. Then, two years ago, he came out gay - boyfriend and everything. Personally I don't give a crap, it's no concern of mine - but I had thought that at least for once I would not have it rubbed in my face. That for once I would be the son and nephew to be proud of - but no, within a few weeks everyone was treating it like the whole thing was normal. I was even told by my mom how nice Eric's boyfriend was and how much of a steadying influence he was on Eric.

Apparently I've even met the boyfriend - way back when I was little - he was one of Eric's friends who spent Christmas with my family years ago. I don't remember them very well but - one of them was a thug who was running away from home - one of them hid his face all the time, like he was really ugly - and the third was crap obsessed, he literally thought that a piece of talking crap was his friend. Of the three I don't know which would be worse - but when I mentioned this to Aunt Liane she was her usual vague self claiming that she couldn't remember the incident.

"Aunt Liane," we were just coming into town now and I was starting to get worried about how cold it was, "will we be stopping at the mall," she looked at me quizzically, "to get me some warmer clothes?"

She smiled at me kindly before returning her attention to the wheel, "No Elvin dear, Eric has sorted out all his old clothes from when he was your age - your almost exactly the same size he was."

"What!"

She continued, "In fact you're almost the mirror image of him at your age - except your hair is more curly and a darker shade of brown."

I lapsed into silence, the last thing I wanted was to be treated like a mini-me version of Eric. Even I had heard of his reputation for crazy antics when he was younger. If I have to wear his old clothes, everyone will look at me and see him. Kids won't want to be my friend because they have seen how Eric behaved towards their elder brothers and sisters. Teachers would pre-judge me as a lazy and stupid trouble-maker because that's what Eric was at my age. I had guessed that I was going to spend the next few years having to deal with all the crap Eric had left in his wake - but me wearing his old clothes would make it even harder for me to try to forge my own identity in this town. God-damn-it this wasn't fair, I had a solid group of good friends back in Nebraska and everyone liked me because I was kind-of funny. Truthfully I had chosen to be funny-fat-kid because I knew I would never be the good-looking-kid or the good-at-sports-kid. I liked to point out things that were stupid and ridiculous or ask seemingly harmless questions that were completely innocent but would make the answerer look like a idiot.

We finally pulled up outside the house and I have to admit - for a snow covered hell-hole - it didn't look too bad. The house was painted a bright festive-green. We had passed by other green painted houses but they were either a darker dull-green or a soft light-sage. I guess Aunt Liane needed a memorable colour so she could find her way home after a night of drink, drugs and whoring. While I was studying the house Aunt Liane had backed the car up the drive before turning off the engine.

Aunt Liane stepped out of the car first and the cold blowing in from her open car door was fierce. I was sitting there in only my t-shirt, long shorts and baseball jacket - I was visibly shivering.

She turned to look a me - hunched up in the car - and said, "You get inside and get warmed up. I'll bring your things in for you."

I jumped out of the car and nearly slipped - my trainers had absolutely no grip in the compacted snow. Moving more cautiously, I made my way over to the door just as it was opened by someone on the inside.

---

Chapter 12

Elvin's POV

I recognised Eric straight away - Aunt Liane was right when she said that we look a lot alike - but not as much as we used to. Eric had lost some of his weight and shot up in height - he looked way over six foot - probably due to puberty. He had also put on muscle from playing football. I wouldn't describe him as having a body-builder type physique though, more the physique of someone who could pound the shit out of body-builder types. I looked at him with pure lust - not gay lust - I just wished I could look like that.

He smiled at me and said, "Hi cousin Elvin," before showing me inside.

He didn't say another word - just went out to help his mother with my things. That was just like him - not wanting to make a big deal and acting like me moving here to live in his home is just a normal every-day occurrence.

I looked around the room, trying to get my bearings. Just an ordinary well-worn-in living room, I suppose. One side of the sofa was slightly sunken in - probably where Eric would veg out and watch TV. I wondered if he was still eating those disgusting Cheesy Poofs? I can't stand them - you get sticky orange powder everywhere.

I was broken out of my thoughts by the door being swung open and Eric lumbering in carrying my two suitcases, my gym bag and my backpack. He preferred the extra weight over having to make extra trips.

I rushed to take my backpack from his hands, "Be careful with that - it's got my laptop in it."

I had only just got it back from the police and had been mortified when the officer had casually mentioned the porn that was on the hard-drive in front of my Aunt. She had ignored his insulting comment with dignity and, for once, I was glad I was with her and not my mom. My mother would have gone ape-shit over the porn. Hey, maybe she could arrange a little something for me, her being in the business and all. I would have asked Eric - but with him being gay - there is no way he would know of any slutty girls who could be gotten drunk enough to have sex with me.

"Do you want to see your room?" Eric asked me. I nodded and followed him up the stairs. He paused outside the first door, "This is my room," he moved along the landing, "bathroom," he said in passing, "your room."

Eric pushed open the door and stepped forward - dumping the bags onto the bed - he continued, "My mom's room is at the end - don't go in there - she has her own bathroom so the other is just for our use." He fixed me in place and changed his tone of voice to something less friendly and more authoritative, "I'm telling you now - so there's no awkward moments or problems - my boyfriend regularly stops the night and we like to shower together sometimes in the morning."

I knew he expected me to say something, "I've no problems with you being gay."

He smiled at me, "So you've no problem with gay people then?"

"No," I thought about the gay kids I had seen at my junior-high school, "I guess you can get nice gay people and douche-bags - just like everyone else."

Eric nodded - he seemed eager to change the subject. He opened the wardrobe doors and revealed the clothes that were already hanging inside, "When I knew you were coming I fished out my old clothes for you. I've laundered them so they're ready to be worn," he could see my unimpressed face, "look - I know that you would prefer new things but we just can't afford the expense. Most of the clothes you've brought with you will do to wear underneath but you do need to wear the heavy trousers and jackets. They'll keep you warm and that's real important here."

I just nodded as he went on, "Look these hats and gloves are new," he pulled open a drawer, "mom bought them for me but I grew and never got to wear them. The same for these boots," he gestured towards a pair of new boots in the bottom of the wardrobe. "I saw how much you were slipping when you got out of the car. The boots are warm and have great grip, I still wear the same ones - see," He stuck out his leg and pulled his cargo trouser up slightly so I could see his footwear.

"Look, I know you are a bit unsettled with everything that has happened. Your life have been turned completely upside-down - but all the focus has been on Aunt Lisa and her problems. Nobody seems to give a shit about how everything is affecting you." Eric made his way towards the door, "I know that you're not happy with being here."

"Thanks Eric," I smiled for the first time in a while.

Eric was out of the room now, "I'll give you some time by yourself to put your things away and make this room seem more like yours." He paused as if thinking, "If you want you can try on the warmer clothes and I'll show you around town."

"That sounds OK," I said tentatively.

He grinned at me, "I'll be downstairs when you're ready."

---


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I just wrote this yaoi story.

---

Chapter 13

Elvin's POV

It didn't take me long to put away my clothes. Aunt Liane had neatly packed everything in groups - all the underwear together, all the socks together - so it was just a case of opening up the suitcases and the drawers and dumping everything in. The gym bag contained my more personal items, photos and my PS3 games. Eric had told Aunt Liane to sell my PS3 - he had a PS3, Wii and XBox 360 all set up in the living room. He had told me over the phone that I could use his to play my games, I just needed to save my game data onto a flash drive. I guess I see his point and having the cash is nice - still it was something of mine that my mom bought and now it was gone, like her.

I could feel myself tearing up, no - god-damn-it, she isn't dead she's just in jail. I will see her again. She had told Aunt Liane that she didn't want me to visit her in jail - but she did promise to write. I already had a long letter from her, I took it out of my jacket pocket and carefully placed it in the bedside cabinet. The picture of the two of us - taken just a few months ago on my thirteenth birthday - I positioned on the desk. I opened the backpack and fished out my laptop. The police had confiscated it to check for evidence against my mom - even though she had never used it. After I had got it back I had checked it out, one of the porn films - College Nympho's shaving party 2 - had been watched eight times. The smug police officer who had taunted me for having porn on my computer had probably watched that film just as feverishly as I had. At least I wasn't getting off to porn, at work and on the tax payers dollar.

I finally had everything put away, the two suitcases were closed and pushed under the bed, the backpack and gym bag were tossed into the bottom of the wardrobe. I now had no excuses for not trying on Eric's old clothes. Reluctantly I stripped off my trainers, jacket and shorts. I know it's stupid but I feel like putting on these clothes will make all the crap that has happened in the last two months real, like I'm excepting that this is my new life. I sigh, whether I want it or not, this is my new life - I just have to find a way to deal with it.

I grab a pair of the trousers, they're heavy and when I unfold them to put them on I find out why - they're padded and lined. I quickly pull them on. Straight away I feel warmer, Eric is right about warmth being important. I'm guessing the bright red jacket is warm as well - although it's nowhere as thick and heavy as I assumed it would be. Yes it is warm, how I don't know, given how it only feels lightly padded - I'll have to ask Eric. The boots are heavy and will take some getting used to - but they fit me perfectly.

I'm soon out of the room, my new bedroom, and going down the stairs, Eric is on the sofa watching something on the TV. When he hears me he turns the set off and looks up, "You look good," he says.

I just mumble something as I enter the room.

He smiles at me, "Are you ready for the fifty cent tour?"

"I guess."

Eric looks closer and sees that I'm not carrying anything in my hands, "Where's your hat and gloves?"

"I didn't think I needed them," I replied feeling slightly embarrassed.

"If you'd lived here all your life you could do without them - but you're more used to living somewhere warm." He got up and bounded up the stairs, "Trust me you'll need them."

---

Chapter 14

Elvin's POV

The town is small and pretty boring, Eric admitted as much even before we got out of his drive. Other than the cinema and a coffee shop there is not a lot of places to go for a bored kid. Eric explains that having friends you can hang with, is the main thing to do in town - even if you don't really like them. That sounds shallow but I can see his point - life would suck if I didn't have someone to play video-games with.

The main street wasn't particularly special, although for some reason, there is a plastic surgeon's. When I asked how they could stay in business in such a small town, Eric casually mentioned that they get a lot of out of town business and many of the clients are anonymous and pay in cash. I think he was implying that criminals come here to change their identity but I can't be sure because he refused to go into any more detail about the subject.

He finally led me into the coffee shop, which must be a regular hang-out for the town's teen population. It wasn't long before I was noticed and a few 'Whoa's' could be heard, a lot of the conversations seemed to drop to whispers. I knew they were talking about me.

Meanwhile Eric had walked up to the counter, "Hey Tweek - two apple pies with cream, my usual mocha cup and a milkshake for the kid."

The attendant's back was to us so all I could see was his blond, spiked, unruly hair as he replied, "OK - what flavour milkshake?"

"Chocolate please," I answered in my usual voice.

The guy turned on hearing my answer and looked at me visibly shaken, "Gah!" He said retreating backwards, "Cartman's cloned himself!" He started to twitch and shake like he was having a fit.

Eric grinned like he found the whole thing highly amusing - this was probably what he was hoping for when he brought me in here, "I haven't seen this sort of reaction since I first kissed Kyle in public," he said quite smugly.

I found myself getting highly pissed off with Eric and the whole situation, some of the customers were openly laughing at the servers fright and I was starting to get really annoyed. I turned towards the other customers, "Shut the fuck up you worthless jump bunnies!" I shouted.

The laughter stopped so I returned my attention to the server - I grabbed my hat and pulled it off my head, "Hi," I said more quietly - my eyes saw the name on the servers name-tag, "Tweek, my name is Elvin - I'm Eric's cousin. We look a bit alike and I guess he wanted to play a joke on you," I smiled.

"Elvin?" Tweek replied - his voice still sounding unsure.

"I'm not a clone - my hair is way better than his," he reached out - like he almost wanted to touch my hair and check that it was different to Eric's - but pulled his hand back and smiled nervously. "Can I have my milkshake now?"

Tweek nodded and reached for the big cups on the counter - I think he was grateful for the return to normalcy.

Eric pulled me to an unoccupied table and we sat down, "Why did you do that?" He asked.

"What," I looked at him - not backing down, "broke up a situation you had started at my expense?" I shook my head, "Firstly I've suffered enough bullying to know that I don't like it and I won't be a part of it, second I don't think your boyfriend will be too impressed when he finds out."

Eric's eyes stretched wide open when I said the second point, "You won't tell Kyle - will you?"

I shook my head, "No - but look around you - there are more than enough people here for the story to be spread all around town."

"Fuck - Kyle will be so pissed off with me."

My cousin needed advice on how to act like a decent human being - I threw him a bone, "Look - when Tweek comes over with our order - make a big show of apologising and tell him he was a good sport for playing along with the joke."

Eric still looked puzzled but did as I said. He actually got a smile out of the nervous teen and asked me about it when we left the coffee shop.

"Look, it wasn't the apology that made the difference. By openly complementing Tweek on playing alone with the joke, you made sure he won't get teased and bullied about this. If anyone brings it up now he can play along and not be embarrassed."

"How did you get so smart about this stuff?"

"I guess - back home all my friends came to me for advice. I just find it easy," I shrugged and pulled my hat back on, "I guess my mom watched a lot of those women-talking advice-shows on TV. I picked up most of it from that."

We continued to trudge along, him in front and me half a step back in his wake. Eric was clearly thinking about something.

"Look," he finally said, "you remember what I said about needing friends in a crappy town like this?"

I nodded so he continued, "With me being in high-school and you only in junior-high - I won't be able to look out for you there. You know, show you around and stuff."

I knew exactly what he meant - bully's love fresh meat, especially if the fresh meat is a big-boned butter-ball like myself. Back in Nebraska I knew who they were and how to make them keep their distance, mostly. Here would be different - I would be going, unarmed, into the bear pit that is junior-high and worse I would have no friends for back-up.

He was waiting for me to say something, "Don't worry about it Eric," I grinned at him, "I know how to look after myself."

Eric seemed unconvinced, "Of course you do but making a friend before you even start wouldn't hurt - right?"

"I guess," why did I get the feeling that he was up to something.

"My boyfriend's little brother is in the same year as you," he had a sly grin on his face, "we can go round to Kyle's house and I'll introduce you."

"He'll probably already have loads of friends," I said petulantly, "and anyway - no-one likes to have a new kid lumbered on them."

Eric stopped and turned to me, "Look - don't make a big deal of it or anything but Ike doesn't really have any close friends. His mom made him start school a year early and she pushes him pretty hard for good grades."

"So he's a nerd then?"

Eric shook his head, "No - Ike's pretty kewl. He gets good grades but isn't a super-genius or something. He just doesn't have any friends his own age so he tends to hang out with my friends a lot."

There is nothing more embarrassing for someone my age than to be set up on a play-date, "So when am I going to meet him then?"

Just as I finished asking the question Eric turned into a drive-way, "Right now - this is their house."

---

Elvin's kewl swear words and what they mean!

Jump bunny - A brainless person who only thinks about the next warm body they want to jump on and have sex with. Jump bunnies are stupid and indiscriminately horny.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I just wrote this yaoi story.

---

Chapter 15

Elvin's POV

I stopped Eric just as he was about to knock on the door, "Do they know about me being here?"

"Not yet," he said knocking on the door, "I thought I'd surprise them."

I tried to hang back but Eric grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me in front of him - I instinctively let out an angry "Meh!"

The door was opened by a skinny teenager wearing a tight t-shirt and boot-cut jeans. He was a lot taller than me but, obviously, shorter than Eric. I guessed that this must be Kyle - the boyfriend.

Kyle's eyes moved from Eric to me a couple of times before he spoke, "Hey."

Eric propelled me past Kyle and into the house. He still kept one hand on my shoulder as he spoke, "Hi Kahl. I'm just showing my cousin, Elvin, around. He's going to be living here for a while."

I could see Kyle's mind was working through something - like he was solving a puzzle - before he spoke, "How long a while?"

Eric tried to be diplomatic with his answer, "That depends - his mom's been been charged with fraud - if she's found guilty," he trailed off.

"Five years," I answered bluntly.

"Elvin - she could get off," Eric was trying to be kind, "and even if she doesn't there's still parole."

I wasn't in the mood for the soft touch, "She's guilty and she's a Cartman - if anything she might get more time."

Kyle was still stunned by my presence, "Wow - he even sounds just like you," for the second time today somebody started to reach out and touch me before checking themselves. "What are you planning Eric?"

Eric put on his fake-innocent face - I use the same look when lying to teachers about unfinished homework, "Nothing - I just wanted to see you," he leaned in and kissed Kyle gently on the lips.

Kyle smiled at the kiss but pulled back and said, "And?"

Eric looked slightly nervous, "Well Elvin's in the same grade as Ike and I thought that Ike might be willing to show him around school and look out for him and stuff,"

Kyle looked at me again, "Shit! Does he know?"

"What," Eric waved his hands in a calming gesture towards Kyle, "that Ike's a kewl guy who for one reason or another finds it hard to make friends."

"No not that," Kyle was looking rather agitated and worried.

"I told him that Ike hangs with us a lot and has been cutting into our time together," Eric was nodding and gesturing like he would prefer for the conversation they were having to be held in private.

Kyle looked sternly at Eric, "And the rest?"

"That's Ike's business," he flashed Kyle a hopeful smile, "whether he chooses to say anything to Elvin or not is up to him."

"Fine," Kyle appeared resigned, "but this is your plan and if anything goes wrong it's up to you to fix it."

I wondered what plan Kyle was talking about? I know that Eric wanted me and Ike to be friends so he could have more alone time, with his boyfriend, without Kyle's little brother getting in the way - but the way how Kyle was talking made it seem like there was a big piece of the picture I hadn't seen yet. Maybe when I met Ike things would click into place.

Eric was signalling Kyle to fetch his little brother. Reluctantly, Kyle went upstairs to get him. I guess I was expecting a short nerdy kid. Given what I had been told about him and the fact that he was a whole year younger than me, I imagined him being a little immature. I guess I could hang with the kid for a while until I made some kewler friends.

I could hear a high-pitched voice saying, "But Kyle I promised you I wouldn't do it again," things sounded tense - I guess the kid must have interrupted my cousin and his brother getting busy.

"That's not what this is about," Kyle explained to his brother, "we just want you to meet a new kid and show him around school."

"Fine," the voice was just out of view, "I guess I owe you one."

Kyle came down the stairs followed by a small, dark-haired boy in a blue sweater. I felt so awkward, "Hi," I mumbled.

The boy looked at me then at Eric then at Kyle - like he was asking a question with his eyes. I had seen a lot of that today.

I have a tendency to fill the silences with babble when nervous and right now I was been made to feel nervous, "You must be Ike. Eric's told me a lot about you," I smiled hoping to ease the smaller boy's tension.

"You look just like Eric," Ike was looking at me in a strange way - almost like awe, "you sound like him too."

In the background Eric and Kyle were giving each other knowing smirks.

I guess I had to introduce myself, "My name's Elvin - I'm Eric's cousin."

He didn't respond so I tried again, "I'm going to be living here with Aunt Liane and Eric," still nothing.

I tried a different tact, "Are you into video games? I've got some really kewl PS3 games - had to sell my console but Eric says I can use his."

This finally got a shy smile and a response from him, "I like RPG's have you got any?"

"Yes, I love RPG's. I've got the new Final Fantasy, White Knight Chronicles, Agarest," I paused to think, "oh and I've got a few PC games as well."

Ike was openly beaming now - he was obviously talking about one of his favourite subjects, "I've got an Xbox 360 and loads of games," he looked at me shyly, "wanna come see?" I nodded and followed him as he lead me up the stairs.

---

Chapter 16

Elvin's POV

Wow Ike really likes his video games - as well as the games that came out on both consoles he also had Xbox 360 exclusives like Fable 2, Magna Carta 2 and Tales of Vesperia. All of which were really kewl. He talked a lot actually about games, music and school - me grilling him for the info on bullies to avoid and which teachers were nice and which were mean. I kind-of felt comfortable hanging with him, like with my old friends back in Nebraska. Maybe he could be a good friend for me.

We were interrupted by a knock on the bedroom door and Kyle following in. He smiled to see us engrossed in friendly conversation, "Eric and I are going to spend the night over at his place."

I figured that they wanted me to go home with them. I was new to South Park and I could easily lose my way - even in a small town. I glanced at Ike and he looked really disappointed. I smiled at him, "Hey - maybe you can sleep over too?"

Ike had a look of eager hope on his face and started to nod yes when Kyle interrupted, "Elvin, I don't think it's such a good idea. You haven't asked your Aunt and it's your first night in town."

I scoffed at Kyle's comments, "Aunt Liane is kewl. She told me that this was my new home and that I would have the same privileges as Eric had at my age." I looked at Kyle, "He had sleep-overs - right?"

Kyle reluctantly nodded, "Yes."

"Well so can I," I pulled my phone out and hit the speed-dial for Aunt Liane - it wasn't long before she picked up, "Hi Aunt Liane it's me Elvin. Can Ike sleep over tonight," as I listened to the reply I raised my thumb up to Ike. "No - Eric and Kyle said they would be happy to hang with us," Kyle shot me a filthy look, "I'm old enough to not need a babysitter anyways," I paused, "see you soon."

Kyle left the room and Ike shot after him, I slowly trudged down the stairs to see what was happening. Ike had cornered Kyle in the living room, they were fighting in hushed tones. I crept back up a few steps so I could listen in without being seen. I know I shouldn't but something was going on and nobody would tell me what it was - the whole mystery of the thing was really bothering me.

"I don't see why you have a problem," Ike was saying.

Kyle shot him a fierce look, "You know why."

Ike stepped closer to his brother, "It's just a sleep-over."

"And I believe that," Kyle responded cynically.

"You don't trust me?" Ike asked sadly.

"I want to," Kyle replied, "but after y'know..." Kyle's voice trailed off.

Ike looked Kyle in the eyes, "I like Elvin, I think we could be friends," his voice dropped even lower, "I've never really had a best friend."

Kyle swallowed - he looked really uncomfortable, "It's just..."

Ike interrupted him, "Well," he paused to enjoy playing what appeared to be a trump card, "I could always ask him if we could have our sleepover here instead."

Kyle's face paled, "You wouldn't?" Ike had a triumphant smile, "Shit - you would. Fuck!"

Ike tried to calm Kyle down, "At least you'll be able to keep an eye on things. I thought you'd want that."

Kyle looked pissed off, "This is all Eric's fault," he said before stalking off into the kitchen - probably to rant at Eric.

I realised that Ike was turning to return up the stairs so I quickly made a play of coming down and just noticing him, "Hey where did you get to?" I asked.

Ike rubbed the back of his neck as he replied, "I was just down here talking to Kyle."

We stood there - me nervous about spying and him nervous about the conversation. Thankfully before things became too awkward Eric and Kyle walked in from the kitchen.

Eric looked pleased with himself, "See I told you Ike was kewl," I just nodded.

Kyle spoke to his brother, "I called mom, she's working late but said it would be OK - as long as I was there to keep an eye on you."

Ike nodded, "What about dinner?"

Eric answered, "I could make something or we could phone for pizza."

Ike and I both answered at the same time, "Pizza!"

"I better get my things for tonight," Ike turned to Kyle giving him a sly wink, "you've already got everything you need over at Eric's house."

Kyle ignored the comment and instead gave Ike a quick check-list, "You'll need your sleeping-bag, toothbrush, clothes to sleep in and a change of clothes to wear for tomorrow."

"You don't need a sleeping bag," I grinned at Ike, "my room has a small-double bed - more than enough room for the two of us."

I don't know why but Ike seemed delighted by the idea - I guess he had never been to a sleepover before and everything about it seemed exciting. Eric and Kyle, on the other hand, looked weird - like they were nervous of something. They probably just wanted a night alone together and the presence of me and Ike was spoiling their plans.

---


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone. I just wrote this yaoi story.

---

Chapter 17

Elvin's POV

Having to walk around in the cold isn't fun but doesn't seem so bad when you have a friend walking next to you saying silly things. Eric and Kyle walked on ahead of us, just far enough in front so that I couldn't hear their conversation - although it appeared animated.

Suddenly I slipped, I could feel myself falling in slow motion. Not being used to the conditions underfoot I had taken too much confidence in the grip from my new boots - I guess that's a new guy's mistake. Expecting a hard slam into the pavement, I was surprised to find myself upright and stable. Ike had wrapped himself around one of my flailing arms and had prevented my fall.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

I was still a little disorientated, "Huh?"

He was still holding onto my arm, "You've got to watch out for the patches of black ice."

I looked down at the side-walk, "How can you see the black ice when there's a new layer of snow covering everything?"

Ike grinned at me, "I've lived here so long that I know where all the patches of black ice form."

I shook my head, "Why the fuck would anyone choose to live here?"

"Don't ask me - I kinda like the cold anyways," we had resumed walking but Ike was keeping one hand on my arm - probably in case I fell again.

"How can you like this?" I asked him.

"Maybe it's because I'm Canadian," I looked at him puzzled. "My parents adopted me when I was a baby."

"So that's why you and Kahl don't look anything alike."

Ike nodded, "I so wanted to be like him when I was little. Once I even tried to dye my hair red to match his."

I stopped and turned to face him, "Never try to be anything but yourself Ike. A copy is never as good as the original - that's why posters of great works of art are sold so cheaply. Kyle seems like a kewl big brother, I can see why you would choose him as your roll-model but..."

Ike stopped me, "I know, Kyle told me the same thing. I have to make my own decisions not imitate his."

I noticed that Eric and Kyle had stopped and were waiting for us to catch them up, "Come on, we don't want them to think we're up to something."

Ike looked at me slyly, "Two innocent guys like us, what would we be up to?"

I half-laughed as I replied, "I don't know yet but we'll think of something."

---

We dropped Ike's bag off in my new room before going downstairs to play video-games. I wonder how long it will take for me to think of Aunt Liane's and Eric's house as my house, my home? I guess that's something that will have to come with time but for now I had games to play. Eric insisted on games that we all could play so we started with a race car game of his - it was OK but we soon switched to a fighting game. We used the tried and tested rules of play; winner stays on, loser switches out and random characters. Eric and Kyle must have played that game a lot because they won more times than not.

After a long winning streak Eric finally lost to Kyle in a third round thriller - Kyle had used a triple special move combo - he announced to us all that he was going to phone for the pizza's and asked us what we wanted on them. Kyle wanted something vegetarian, Ike asked for chicken barbecue - his favourite. Eric went for an extra cheese thing - only after teasing Kyle by pretending to consider meat feast and hawaiian. I had no idea what toppings were available and not wanting to appear foolish opted for the same as Ike.

While Eric was ordering the pizza Ike pressed up against me and said, "You're getting the same as me."

I nodded and replied, "I thought it might make you and Kyle feel uncomfortable if I was eating ham or bacon in front of you and anyways I don't know what other toppings they do, so I thought I'd go with your recommendation."

We played some more until the pizza's arrived. Eric surprised us by ordering fudge brownies to finish off with. Kyle had some frozen yoghurt from the freezer, he let me try some and it wasn't bad. While we ate we watched a kewl anime DVD Kyle had brought, it was pretty sweet with space battles and lots of action.

It was only after watching quite a few episodes of the show that Ike finally noticed that I wasn't enjoying myself. Despite everyone's best efforts I was starting to feel pretty down and had visibly slumped in my seat.

"Elvin," Ike's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, "I noticed that you hadn't put any posters up in your room yet, don't you have any?"

"A few," I answered, "I just don't see the point."

Ike jumped up and grabbed my hand - pulling me onto my feet, "Come on," he said, "it might make you feel more a home."

I just nodded and followed him up the stairs. One of the reasons I hadn't put the posters up was because I didn't want to start feeling at home here, because I didn't want it to be my home. The other reason is because I only had a few crappy posters and one of them had a rip in the corner from when I had to take it down. By now we were in my room and looking at my sorry poster collection. Ike didn't say anything but I could imagine what he was thinking.

"I know, they're only fit for the garbage," I gestured at them, "My mom didn't like posters on walls and if I took an old one down, it was really hard to persuade her to let me put a new one up."

"Whoa, how old are some of these?" Ike asked.

Pointing to a garish poster displaying characters from an old kids TV show I said, "That's the oldest. I got it when I was eight as a birthday gift. Mom only let me put it up because she didn't want to offend the parents of the kid who gave me it."

We folded the posters back up and shoved them into my sports bag, "Never mind," Ike said, "we can always get you some new posters at the mall tomorrow."

"I suppose."

Ike had turned his attention to the rest of the room. His eyes were looking for anything of interest, "What's this?" Ike was picking through the stuff I had just dumped in a corner rather than put away yet.

I looked over at what he was holding, "Remote spy-cam."

He continued, "How does it work?"

"You plant it somewhere and turn it on," I pointed out the sliding switch, "It sends out a scrambled audio/video signal via blue-tooth."

Ike nodded, "And you have to have the right software on your computer to de-scramble it."

"You charge it direct from a computer using a USB cable - here let me show you."

As I flipped open my laptop Ike rummaged through the other items in the corner before coming up with the black cable I needed, "Is this it," he asked.

I took the spy-cam and cable off Ike and plugged them into my computer. The spy-cam software loaded up and we spent a few minutes pulling faces into the lens.

I checked the battery status of the device - nearly a full charge, "It's good for a few hours," I said.

Ike pulled the camera off the cable - after a brief flicker the picture resumed its normal showing. He grinned at me, "The software adapts to low light?"

"Yes," I wondered what he was thinking.

"So we could plant this in Eric's bedroom and spy on them?"

"If you want," I had no problem with invading Eric's privacy - not after some of the tricks he had done to me on family get-togethers.

"Kewl," Ike looked at me, grinning.

---


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

Chapter 18

Elvin's POV

Fortunately Eric and Kyle were still watching the anime DVD so it was pretty easy for me and Ike to slip into Eric's room. While Ike was looking for a good place to plant the camera I took the opportunity to have a quick look around the room. It was about the same size as my room, surprisingly tidy and only slightly smelled of feet. The bed was a double and covered with a light-blue throw. He had a computer that was way more powerful than mine and a big electronic keyboard lined up alone-side it on a second desk.

Ike hissed excitedly at me, "I think here's a good place."

Ike's good place was on a shelf filled with DVD's, Blue-rays and video-games. He had angled the camera so that all of the room would be filmed.

"It's perfect," I whispered, "now let's get out of here."

Ike nodded and we left the room, hardly daring to breathe until we were safely back in my bedroom.

I didn't question why Ike was so enthusiastic about spying on his brother and Eric. I figured it was partly so he could tease them and partly curiosity. If I'd spent as many nights listening to them, getting it on in the next room as Ike had, I might be curious too. Fuck! I just realised, I would hear them when they were here just like Ike had to when they stopped at Kyle's house. Now I'm no prude but the idea of trying to go to sleep while hearing the sounds of Eric getting laid in the next room - I shuddered violently.

"So what time will your Aunt be home?" Ike asked me.

I thought for a second before replying, "I've no idea. Eric said she was out on a date but I think she's working."

"You mean she's out whor...," Ike stopped himself, "I'm sorry - it's not my place to judge."

I shrugged, "Aunt Liane is a whore. I don't like it but there is nothing I can do about it. It probably bothers Eric a lot though and anyway she has been really good to me."

Ike nodded, "I'm glad you're here - even if you would rather be back in Nebraska."

"Eric said that this town is crappy and that the only thing that makes it bearable is having friends to hang-out with."

"Is that your way of telling me that you want us to be friends?" Ike smiled at me.

"I guess," I looked away. I've always found it hard to talk about personal stuff.

"That's kewl," Ike jumped onto me and started poking me in the ribs, "I'm already thinking of you as my friend anyway."

I pulled Ike's hands away and rolled him off me. As we laid side-by-side I realised that I had never felt as at-ease with my old friends. I guess that with them they expected me to be the funny guy, with Ike I got to be myself. We laid there lazily for a few minutes not speaking - my grandma always says that true friends can enjoy each others silence. I didn't feel silly or awkward or nervous like I usually did in these sorts of situations.

I stretched and sat up, "We better get ready for bed before Eric and Kyle come up," I said.

Ike sat up and started pulling his jumper off - now I did feel nervous. If Ike got changed in front of me I would have to do the same. So what, you might think - but I was fat and had learned through years of bullying to be ashamed of my body. I was terribly self-conscious about anyone seeing me naked or even partially unclothed. I had three choices - number one brave it out, just get changed like it was no big deal - number two get changed in the bathroom and risk offending Ike, or at least making him think I was a coward or something - and number three tell Ike that I was too embarrassed to get changed in front of him.

I made the decision, "Ike," he turned to look at me, "I'm gonna get changed in the bathroom."

As I said the words I could see the hurt look in his eyes, "Why," he asked, "has Eric said something about me?"

I shook my head - we were at cross purposes and I had no idea what he was talking about, "It's not you."

Ike was now in tears - his chest was rising up and down as he sobbed, "You hate me."

I grabbed him and pulled him to me, pressing him against my body as my arms wrapped around him, "It has nothing to do with you," I said. Ike was trying to pull himself out of my arms - I don't think he believed me. I had to say something to calm him down, "It's because I'm fat."

He pulled back and looked at me - trying to see dishonesty in my face, "I don't care that you're overweight."

I was the one who broke eye contact, "I just don't like people seeing me without clothes on." I let go of Ike and turned away, I'd barely known him a few hours and already I was telling him deeply personal stuff that I've never told anyone.

"You've been bullied a lot because of your weight, right?" Damn he was perceptive.

I just nodded and started tearing up.

"It's OK," Ike smiled at me, "if it makes you feel more comfortable, you can get changed anywhere you like."

"If you promise not to stare," I had never felt more nervous - although I wasn't sure why, "I already know that you won't call me any hurtful names."

Ike just nodded and we hurriedly changed in silence, he didn't stare although I think he did sneak a glance or two - my acting up must have made his curious. I was so embarrassed about myself that I didn't even think to look at him - not that I would, him being a guy and all.

We rushed into the bathroom, trying to finish before Eric and Kyle came upstairs. I could hear movements in the kitchen, I suspect they were cleaning up before coming up for the night.

It wasn't long before we were back sitting on the bed with my laptop between us. The image on the screen was of Eric's bedroom. Ike sniggered and I shushed him as we watched the door open.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** This isn't the original version of this chapter, that got deleated by mistake along with chapters 19 and 20. I've been concentrating on other stories so this is just to keep **Lumbered** ticking over really. The next chapter should feature hot Kyman action - when I get around to re-writing it (lol)._

_I've been thinking of tidying up the format on this story. As it was the first thing I ever posted, I was naeve about how badly screws up your formatting. Maybe it's best to leave it until the story is finished._


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**Chapter 19**

**Elvin's POV**

We watched as Eric and Kyle entered the bedroom. For secrecy purposes I had turned the sound off so we couldn't hear what they were saying but both had smiles on their faces and it looked like Eric was saying something funny.

"Get on with it," Ike whispered impatiently.

I looked across at him, he seemed really animated and was staring intently at the screen.

Eric and Kyle were now undressing, slowly and passionately. Stopping to kiss and stroke each other. Not been into gay porn myself I wondered if it was usually like this.

"They seem more kissy than the porn I've watched on-line," I commented to Ike.

"That's just sex," Ike answered - not giving me his full attention, "this is making love. Big difference."

I just nodded unable to take my eyes away from the screen.

They were on the bed and naked now, seeing them erect made me feel uncomfortable. I'd seen hard dicks in porn before, but that was always in guy on girl action and I didn't know the people involved. Kyle's dick appeared small in comparison to those I'd seen in porno, so I assumed he was about average size. Eric on the other hand was larger and thicker. I felt strangely proud, he was my cousin and we shared DNA. Maybe my dick will get as big as his when I'm older.

"You're recording this, right," Ike asked.

"Of course," I assumed Ike wanted the footage to blackmail them with.

Eric was sitting on the bed with his back to the headboard, Kyle was between his legs licking and sucking. As I stared at Kyle taking that big cock into his mouth - I started to wonder, again, what it was like. Not cock-sucking, but getting a blow-job. It's pretty normal to wonder about what it would feel like, I guess. I started to imagine what it would be like to have my dick in someone's mouth and started to get hard.

"Shit," I said when I finally noticed.

Ike turned and looked at me, "Don't worry I'm hard too."

I risked a brief glance at Ike's groin area but couldn't see anything - I guess he was too small for it to make much of a tent in his shorts.

On the screen Kyle was lowering himself down, impaling his ass on Eric's hard cock. Their bodies were dripping with sweat and tension.

"We'll hear Kyle's moans now," Ike commented.

Sure enough we could hear moans through the wall that divided to two bedrooms. Thanks to the spy-cam we could see Kyle rising up and down, taking the full length inside him with every stroke. Eric leaned forwards and wrapped his arms around Kyle, bringing their mouths together for another kiss. The intimacy of the love making was finally starting to make me feel guilty for spying.

"Maybe we shouldn't be watching this," I said to Ike.

Ike reached across and placed his hand on my arm - to dissuade me from switching off the computer, "They've nearly finished," he replied.

Kyle had wrapped his legs around Eric's waist and his arms around Eric's neck. Eric lifted Kyle up and lowered him onto his back. They resumed kissing and Eric started thrusting into Kyle. Less than a minute later I could hear Kyle cry out in orgasm followed by my cousin. On the screen they had stopped moving and lay wrapped in each others arms.

I reached over and switched off the laptop, "That was pretty intense."

"But hot," Ike added.

"Yeah," I looked at Ike again, his face was flushed.

I got up and carried my laptop over to the desk, all the time trying to hide my obvious hardness from Ike.

"We can get the camera back tomorrow," I finally said.

Ike just nodded and grinned at me.

"What side of the bed do you want," I asked.

"It doesn't matter," Ike replied, "we'll probably end up piled together in the middle anyway.

I laughed as I climbed into the bed and wriggled about to make myself comfortable, "We'll wake up wrapped around each other like Eric and Kyle."

"Oh Eric you're so hot and sexy," Ike joked - pressing up against me and acting far more effeminate that Kyle ever would, "please ram you're huge dick up my tight Jew ass."

"Only if you promise to respect my authoritah," I joked back - grabbing Ike and pulling him on top of me.

We wriggled about in mock-sex for a few seconds before our eyes locked. I hadn't noticed before how clear and blue Ike's eyes were, nothing like my plain and boring brown ones. The moment was starting to feel uncomfortable and I think Ike noticed it too because he rolled off me and turned on his side.

"Night Elvin," he said.

"Yeah, goodnight Ike," I reached across and turned out the lamp - trying not to think about how nice it had felt holding Ike in my arms.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** Some people have been asking about the lack of Kyman action and the fact that this story seems to be focusing more on the relationship between Elvin and Ike. I will now answer these comments._

_1/ The first part of the story was about Eric and Kyle - I posted this as a large block right at the beginning. The second part was always supposed to be Elvin's story._

_2/ The whole idea behind this story was to promote Elvin as a character to all the South Park writers out there. My point being that Damien, Gregory and Christophe only appeared in one episode (or as bit-part characters in the movie) and they have a massive amount of stories written about them. Don't get me wrong I like those characters but doesn't Elvin deserve just as much fan story coverage._

_3/ Anyone who wants to read a story with it's focus just on Eric and Kyle, that's fine. I love Kyman, it's my favourite South Park pairing. There are some great ones out there - I point you in the direction of my story; **Cartman, I'm You Boyfriend** as an example. Not that I'm saying my story is great._

_4/ This was the first story I started writing for this site. After having three, already written, chapters deleted off my computer I got disheartened and left it for a while. I wrote some one-shots to get my enthusiasm back and ended up writing a multi-chapter fic as well. This story never got many reviews so I assumed that there was little interest. Not that I would ever abandon it, I just lowered it's priority._

_5/ The only reason why this story is marked with the Eric Cartman and Kyle B character tabs is because Elvin isn't listed on the character tabs and I didn't want to tab it with just Ike's name. This is one of the things I want this story to change. If you support this idea, review - or better yet, write an Elvin/Ike story yourself._

_I mentioned most of this on my author profile but it doesn't harm to repeat it here. I hate long author notes and I always wonder if the author is just trying to bump up their word count - so I'm sorry about the length of this one - cell12._


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own South Park - it's owned by the very talented Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

* * *

**Lumbered**

**by cell12**

**Chapter 20**

**Elvin's POV**

I'm not one of those people who panics about where they are when they wake up in a strange bed. I relax and enjoy the short period of time before my memory kicks in and forces me to start my day. So when I woke up with another person snuggled up to me, I didn't think much of it. I've had lots of sleep-overs before and this wasn't that unusual. As I started to wake up, I remembered that I wasn't at home - I was in South Park and the person asleep in my arms was Ike, my cousin's boyfriend's brother. I felt slightly embarrassed when I realised that I was drooling into his hair. I tend to drool in my sleep and sometimes I wake up with a big wet patch on my pillow. My mom always jokes that I need a plastic pillow cover - in the same way as bed-wetters need a plastic mattress cover.

Thinking about my mom reminded me about why I'm here and where she is. Without thinking I hugged Ike tightly against me.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the slight waking movements of the boy in my arms. Eager to avoid an awkward situation, I pulled my arms from around him and edged away slightly.

Still half-asleep, Ike pressed towards me, "You're warm," he mumbled.

"Morning Ike," I replied, letting him cuddle back up against me.

I could feel his heartbeat as our bodies pressed together and I started to relax. It was hard to explain, but I felt so comfortable right now. Anyway, what was the harm in having a lie-in?

Suddenly the door sprang open and shocked me fully awake. Eric pounded into the room, looking furious, with Kyle following behind. Ike and I both sat up, I guess he was feeling as scared as I was. Had Eric found the spy-cam?

"You'll never guess what I found this morning," Eric said, sarcasm dripping off his tongue.

Kyle chipped in, "You only found it because my phone picked up the scrambled blue-tooth signal."

Oh shit, it was about the spy-cam.

Eric held the offending item with finger and thumb - dangling it in front of our faces, "Now I think I know what this is and how it got where it was - but I would like you to tell me."

Ike shrunk back and tried to shield himself behind me.

"It's my spy-cam," I answered, "I used it to spy on you and Kahl last night."

Ike gripped my arm and buried his face into my shoulder. I could feel his tears soaking into my t-shirt.

"And Ike had nothing to do with this?" Eric asked - sounding totally disbelieving.

"It's mah spy-camera, I'm responsible," I tried to stare Eric down.

"Ike tell the truth please," Kyle spoke more quietly but with a firm steel to his voice that I hadn't suspected he had.

Ike lifted his head from my shoulder and tried to answer between sobs, "I found it when I was looking through Elvin's stuff," he waved a hand vaguely in the direction of the still untidy junk-pile.

"Who's idea was it to spy on me and Eric?" Kyle asked gently.

Ike couldn't look his brother in the face, "Mine."

I couldn't help it, I stepped in to protect Ike, "I'm the eldest, I'm responsible."

While Kyle was speaking to us, Eric had grabbed my laptop and was now bringing it over to the bed, "I want to see you delete the files in front of us," he said.

I nodded and opened up the computer. When the log-in screen appeared Eric asked, "What's your password?"

"Why do you need to know?" I immediately asked.

"You're not responsible enough to have a computer unsupervised, so I need you password so that I can check it," Eric told me.

My heart sank another inch into my chest, "I'm so sorry Eric," I typed in the password, "my password is peppermint."

We waited while windows logged in. The silence was awful, I felt like begging the computer to work fasted. Finally the laptop was ready for use.

"Load up the software you used and delete the file," Eric instructed.

I did as he asked.

"Now close the software and uninstall it."

I looked up at him, "Uninstall?"

"Yes, now hurry up and respect my authoritah."

I did as he said, uninstalling the spy-cam software. After it had finished I paused, waiting for further instructions.

"Do you still have the original application file?" Eric asked.

"Yes."

"I want you to delete it and any other folders retaining to this," he again waved the spy-cam in my face.

It was easiest to just delete the whole folder, I had used, from the c-drive.

Kyle came back into the room carrying a pen drive, I had been so focused on the computer that I hadn't even noticed he had left. he handed it to me and said, "Install the file scrubber off this and run it."

I nodded and carried out this instructions.

"Did you make any copies of the file," Ike and I both shook our heads.

It was only once the scrubber was running that I realised that they hadn't even started to punish us. All this was just to destroy what was recorded last night.

"How are you gonna punish us?" I asked.

Eric took my laptop away and placed it back on the desk, "I was going to force you guys to make-out in front of me and Kahl to humiliate you. Sadly Kahl pointed out that you'd both probably enjoy it - given that you spied on us last night."

I winced back at Eric's words - spying on two guys was pretty gay, now that I thought about it.

"We can't ground you or stop you from seeing each other, since we're not your parents," Kyle added.

"We could tell on you," Eric added, "but that would be embarrassing for us and even I don't want to see Ike being punished by his mother."

I guess that Ike's mom is pretty strict.

"So ah've decided that you're doing our chores for a month," Eric looked slightly annoyed that he couldn't do more that that.

"You're not going to hit us?" I asked nervously.

Eric looked down at me, "Do I come across as the sort of person who hits little kids?"

"I don't think so, but I don't know you that well," I answered.

Eric sat on the bed and looked closely at me, "I always hated being an only child to a single parent. I always wished I could have a dad or a big brother to look up to," he left the rest of what he meant unsaid.

I knew about what had happened with the Tenormans and I knew that even admitting something like this was difficult for Eric. He hated showing any signs of weakness - even Kyle appeared shocked. Eric was offering to be my male parental role-model and he knew just how much such an offer meant to me.

I clambered over to him and hugged him. Sometimes it's hard to know how much you're missing out on - until, that is, it's pointed out to you.

* * *

_**Authors Note:** I originally planned for this story to have four parts - each told from the point-of-view of a different character. First Eric then Elvin, Ike and lastly Kyle. With this chapter I've finished the second part, it's a good point to take a break and work on some of my other South Park stories. cell12._


End file.
